Tuesday, October 25, 2011

1, 2, 3 nolan

nolan had a rough rough day. another restless night, followed by a doctor's appointment. after being examined, he fell asleep in my arms, then woke up as needles were being pressed into his velvet thighs. we both sobbed. this evening he couldn't stand to be put down. i wrapped him in his moby, the carrier he used as a newborn, and he fell asleep as we danced to john lennon and cat stevens. my poor little bear. i hope he feels better tomorrow.

in the meantime, i am in one of those escape-fantasy moods. but as ronsard once said, le temps s'en va...

Sunday, October 23, 2011

my paintings are now invisible

every issue of adbusters is like an education in subversive art history. this last installment led me to yves klein, french nouveau realist artist, best known for his creation of the color 'international klein blue' (ikb). in addition to his monochrome paintings featuring ikb, he was also a visionary performance artist and conceptual musician. everyone knows about john cage's 4' 33" of silence, but several years before, klein put on a performance of his 'monotone symphony' - 20 minutes of a sustained chord followed by 20 minutes of silence. the piece was accompanied by naked models covered in blue paint using their bodies on canvases as "living brushes."

 as his career progressed, he got deeper into the metaphysical aspects of his work:

"Recently my work with color has led me, in spite of myself, to search little by little, with some assistance (from the observer, from the translator), for the realization of matter, and I have decided to end the battle. My paintings are now invisible and I would like to show them in a clear and positive manner, in my next Parisian exhibition at Iris Clert's."

 hilarious! what an exciting world we live in.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

delight is a secret

but more on that later...

1. clean up the kitchen
2. prep lunch and bags for tomorrow
3. get email down to 10

my gorgeous little bear at 2 months:

Delight is a secret. And the secret is this: to grow quiet and listen; to stop thinking, stop moving, almost to stop breathing; to create inner stillness in which, like mice in a deserted house, capacities and awarenesses too wayward and too fugitive for everyday use may delicately emerge. Oh, welcome them home! For these are the long lost children of the human mind. Give them close and loving attention, for they are weakened by centuries of neglect. In return they will open your eyes to a new world within the known world, they will take your hand, as children do, and bring you where life is always nascent, day always dawning. Suddenly and miraculously, as you walk home in the dark, you are aware of the insubstantial shimmering essence that lies within appearances; the air is filled with expectancy, alive with meaning; the stranger, gliding by in the lamp-lit street, carries silently past you in the night the whole mystery of his life…

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

"you need to get your act together, al!"

i don't seem to blog anymore, but this evening i return to a sad way of blogging which we can call incentive blogging, or motivational blogging. in other words, my house is a mess, i have a million things to do and i'm exhausted, so i'll use my blog to keep me on track.

my method: set a goal, reach that goal, then post a cute picture of nolan. here i go.

the time is 8:14pm. my first task: clean up the kitchen and prepare lunch for tomorrow.

8:45 - done.

now... bake this pie for luca for his birthday tomorrow.

ok. 9:34. pie is baking and tofu is marinating. nolan:

next: clean up the dining room and at some point flip the tofu.

it's 10:06. the pie is baked. the tofu is in the fridge. the dining room is sort of cleaned up. not completely. but i still need to shower and clean up upstairs a bit, so i'm calling that one. nolan:

a brief, easy challenge: there are 48 messages in my inbox, mostly junk. get that down to 20.

ok, time to go upstairs. 10:20. naked nolan, en route to the bath:

my plan is now as follows: put a note next to the pie for luca. bring stuff on stairs upstairs. clear off the bed and the window seat. lay out clothes for tomorrow. brush and floss teeth. shower. post final pic of nolan for the night and fall asleep watching kristin wiig do her thing.

11:04. wow, i actually did it. goodnight, nolan!

god, i love him so much it feels like my heart could explode.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


i am so in love with my son today.