Tuesday, December 4, 2012

in search of lost time

i'm thinking of becoming a proustitute in 2013. dr. h. thought this was a "relentlessly wonderful" idea.

Monday, December 3, 2012

stupid anonymous email

where are lisbeth salander and veronica mars when you need them most?

today i asked our i.t. guy if he knew any hackers. he did not. shouldn't that be a requirement for an i.t. guy? i mean, what world are we living in?

Sunday, December 2, 2012

a dark and yawning secret

i am drunk on this book. i am carrying it around fantasizing about reading passages to strangers and infecting them one by one until everyone in my surround is hobbling around, unable to attend to their responsibilities or relate to their loved ones. this book will become our new religion and we will worship at eleanor catton's pen.

Friday, October 19, 2012

sleep fear

i am incapable of going to sleep when luca is already asleep. i feel compelled to stay up by any means necessary.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

danielle g.

at this time in my life, i know many interesting people. received an invitation to a performance by our friend danielle g. this was her bio:

Danielle G. is wingflaps and heart palpitations. She wheels a handcart of reasonable expectations. Her music is carnivorous, carbonated but freshly belched, covered in plastic doll's eyes, and extraordinarily like her correct posture. She has very pretty bells that she might play and she might not. She is a massive organ of shadows and air. She recently arrived in Philadelphia, and is currently working with guitar, voice, and other effects.

i feel happy.

Sunday, September 16, 2012


all energy focused on trauma presentation, except when at work or with nolan or at the itty bitty end of the day when i watch about 5 minutes of 'lost' before falling asleep.

my mission:

1) combat section
2) crisis section
3) j. section
4) go through hand written notes
5) go through articles
6) copy passage from enneagram book and add to bibliography
7) passages from eating problems and add to bibliography
8) talk to ani and complete political torture section
9) copy safety dome stuff
10) get article from elaine (will do tomorrow)
11) prepare scenarios/copy molly image
12) read 3 other trauma articles (not gonna happen)
13) assemble handouts/biblio and copy (will do tomorrow)
14) gather grounding stones, cards and envelopes (will do tomorrow)
15) additional reading (not gonna happen)
16) find out about train times/where to go (will do tomorrow)

Monday, July 23, 2012


"Bianca and Sierra Casady paints pictures of lost children across a broken land, feral, elemental spirits who roam the dreamscapes of our world, naming perpetrators, painting their memories, recovering and reclaiming power. They are unafraid to manifest their vision that the application of magical creativity could be a balm for aching souls in a struggling world."

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

my house

i was highly perturbed because there was something nasty under the floor beneath the night table on my side of the bed. i wasn't sure what it was but i had to get rid of it. i began to dig at it and found an unending bevy of scarab beatles, small squirming snakes and other creepy crawlies. i was disgusted, trying to kill them. i stabbed at the beatles repeatedly. they bled. i killed a couple of them but there were so many and they seemed to be clustered around something i couldn't see. it was as if there was a whole room underneathe and i couldn't get at the source of all this revolting business. then it appeared to me as a conspiracy. i tried to tap a phone number that was connected to the room and would reveal to me who was behind this. i was onto something but then i discovered other levels to the house. i walked down a hallway in the basement with many rooms, astonished that all of this was part of my house. all the rooms were white, with thick plaster walls and most rooms contained a single painting of an animal, rendered in thick brushstrokes. these were rachel b.'s paintings. she had lived there before. there was more still to uncover. an even lower level, with wooden floors, half formed. there, a girl was waiting - grown, but with a child's affect. she said hi and told me that her father would be home soon. part of the house was open to the outside, as if some of it hadn't been built. across a body of water i could see a terrace that was also part of the house. i was brimming with ideas for how i would like to use these new spaces and marveling at the vast contents of my house.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Thursday, January 5, 2012

peggy orenstein on girl culture

got the chance to hear peggy orenstein talk a while back and just came across my notes from the presentation. thought i would share her insights:

1) she talked about pink and princesses and gender coding of clothes and products for young children. gave an interesting history of how this came to be, pointing out that none of this gender coding is natural - it is just marketing trying make things appear natural. it appeals to young childrens' sense of gender impermanance by giving them specific ways to assert their gender.

2) the transition from pink princess to the world of shopping and consumerism: the "it's all about me" culture. for girls, self-absorption is sold as self-confidence, getting whatever you want just because you want it. she describes this as a move from cinderella to the narcissistic step-sister.

3) the link between body consciousness and impaired cognitive abilities: she quoted a study that showed how people who took a math test after trying on bathing suits did worse than those trying on sweaters. body consciousness also decreases one's sense of potential.

4) by showing extremes like "toddlers in tiaras" for people to rail against, it lets more mainstream practices and expectations that also sexualize and objectify girls off the hook.

5) when girls learn to objectify themselves, it creates a rift between the performance of sexuality and the embodiment of sexual feelings. she said that sexual agency is just the latest performance for girls - it's all about how you look, not how you feel, so your sexual identity is externalized.

she offered the following resources to address the above concerns:

the geena davis institute
the center for research on gender and sexuality
powered by girl
girls leadership institute
hardy girls healthy women

Monday, January 2, 2012

constable's clouds (1821)

some day nolan and i will go out skying.