Friday, July 26, 2013

georgy girl

can't wait can't wait to see this!!!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

elderflower liqueur

my most favorite drink in all the world. with sipp soda, with almond milk, with iced chamomile tea. i have found my drink.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

low toxicity oil painting

this blog is going to be a documentation of the research i am about to do on how to minimize toxicity when oil painting. last night i had an anxiety attack as i read about how horrible oil paint and oil paint solvents are for one's health and the environment. and here i've been painting in my basement, too lazy to open the windows. so today i am determined to find alternatives so i may continue to paint sans fretting.

1) SOLVENTS let off VOCs - bad for me, bad for the environment. even finished paintings still off-gas these chemicals. don't use them to clean your hands! (wish i had known that in high school...) and don't pour them down the drain! let them sit for a week, reuse clear stuff, let sediment dry out, discard entire container (along with any old paint tubes and painty rags) at toxic waste disposal site. also... you don't have to use solvents. some brands of oil paints are better for solvent-free painting.

2) brushes can be cleaned with walnut oil or murphy's oil soap. "the master's hand soap" good for washing hands. baby oil can also be used to get paint off of hands.

3) m.graham walnut alkyd medium is recommended by some.

4) gamblin also makes environmentally paints and solvents.

5) the following paint colors are bad because they contain lead, mercury, or some other shit: flake white, cerulean blue, cobalt blue, vermillion, cadmium red and yellow, chrome and naples yellow. not naples yellow!!! you can just wear latex gloves when working with these though. and don't touch your face! and look for the AP label on paints, which indicates they are non-toxic.

6) this company sells organic pigments that you can mix with oil.

7) don't leave solvents or mediums exposed to air while painting - cover and open when using.

8) don't put oil paint soaked rags in a trash can - they can spontaneously combust. instead, place in sealed water-filled metal container.

9) always wear a face mask when mixing powdered pigments, even earth based ones.

10) these books may be helpful: rossol's the artist's complete health and safety guide and gottsegen's the painter's handbook.

11) you can use water soluble oil paints like grumbacher's max.

12) underpainting can be done in acrylic! oil works over acrylic, but not the other way around.

13) ventilate and filter the air!

i feel better informed now and plan to go to dick blick tomorrow to see if they have any of this crap. i also ordered an organic mattress. when i googled anxiety about toxic chemicals, the search turned up many pages about how toxic chemicals cause anxiety. oh deary me. good thing i had lunch with mary h*pper.

Sunday, July 7, 2013


it's strange. i finished the first portrait in my emotional manipulation series and i think it may be my best work yet, but all day i've been struggling to get a foothold on anything. the gap was so wide i couldn't see my loved ones across the bay, so i invented replicas of them on the side i was on. we watched in frustration at our doppelgängers, unable to hear the words they were mouthing, frustrated that their gestures seemed out of synch with our own. why weren't they swimming while we sat by the side of the pool? why would they not listen when we lay beside them with the book light to read? on this side our breaths wouldn't reach our bellies and nothing had any smell at all. we shouted orders across the bay but the wind carried them away. we swam toward them against the current. we devised a plan to reach them, but when we left we forgot our bodies so we had to go back, and by then we were tired. we said, 'i guess we can rest here another night. we can sleep on the shore by the water and maybe in the morning we will find our way home.'

Saturday, July 6, 2013

ferdinand hodler

i was looking up beds since we're upgrading to a king and wound up discovering this swiss artist named ferdinand hodler. here is an article about a series of remarkable paintings he made of his dying mistress.

this is the one that initially caught my eye:

he was no stranger to grief, having lost his entire family to tuberculosis. 

this is from a series of self-portraits he painted after she died:

he also developed a style that he termed parallelism, where vertical figures are arranged side by side:

even his landscapes have this same rhythmic quality, as well as a color palette that rivals emil nolde:

such exquisite portraits, too. look at the line quality and the organic elegance of his negative space. if you are in search of sadness, in ferdinand hodler lies a treasure trove.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

july 3rd

off track with cookies, coffee cake and design-your-own-six-packs, but had a lovely day nonetheless. i put on the hidden cameras during my adolescent group and when i went back to my office they changed it to macklemore. i guess the hidden cameras weren't gay enough for them! who knew the thrift shop guy wrote the gay anthem of 2013? apparently everyone except for me. here's two for gay love:

tomorrow: homemade blueberry ice cream and island beach state park with rachel and elsa!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

july 2nd

moments throughout the day when i felt that sinking feeling, the futility of trying to keep afloat, and then this dude is in my office telling me about neuro-linguistic programming and wondering about the splash of trauma that he carries home from work. rachel shows up and i feel happy. chasing nolan down carpenter street, making my annual fig and daiya quesadillas, looking at tara's pictures from the sand castle world championships, nolan in luca's lap by the book light, "i wanna drink, mommy!"

1. always getting distracted. not 5 minutes into my budgeting for new supplies at work i found myself at the anthropologie wedding site. it's like crack.

it also amused me that when i typed bhldn - the name of the collection - my phone autocorrected it to baldness. now i want to start a bridal collection called baldness.

2. found a stencil to use in my portrait and it works! thank you damask tapestry from michaels! just the victorian touch i was looking for to suggest patterns of romanticism.

Monday, July 1, 2013

july 1st


1. charlotte rampling is this season's guest star on dexter! watched the premiere last night and it did not disappoint. rampling is playing a "psychopath whisperer" who seems to know everything about dexter. can't wait to see how it unfolds!

2. ran for 20 minutes straight this morning. i had googled "running music" and many people swear by lady gaga's "the fame" so i gave it a try. blah. not enchanted by her flat staccato vocals, manufactured pop sound, banal lyrics about money and dancing, and certainly not her posturing as some sort of performance artist who actually has something to say. 

3. luca got me a new set of pots and pans for my birthday! they are stainless steel and beautiful.

4. superfood smoothies! this was my mother's day present and i have been making them every day. today it was goji blueberry with chia seeds. tomorrow: sea buckthorn fig!

5. a few weeks ago i found myself watching lana del rey videos and wondering who on earth was behind this strange, pedophilic construction. i would write about it but i'm so damn tired.

tomorrow: getting lots of stuff done at work, including placing a new order for supplies, stopping by michael's to see if they have any damask stencils, picking up my dry cleaning, vegetables from the farm, working on the hair.

maybe i am doing the best that i can.