Friday, February 21, 2014

edith kramer died today

my favorite memory of edith was watching katharina braid her hair as they spoke german together, followed closely by luca's conversation with her at one of her christmas parties... 
luca: do you ever paint from photographs? 
edith: never! never! never!
luca: which contemporary artists do you admire?
editb: anselm kiefer.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

in love

that's what i am today. just in soul dissolving love. with luca. with nolan. with bono. with european cinema. with lars von trier. with marcel and swann and vallee d'obermann. my heart is not big enough for the immensity of my love.

Friday, February 7, 2014

liquid cinema of the emotions

watched robert altman's 3 women today. astonishing, strange, heartbreaking film. david lynch could have based naomi watts'  reaction to rebekah del rio in the "silencio" scene of mulholland dr on my reaction to the birth scene in 3 women. tears came from unknown regions. i need to watch it again.

Monday, February 3, 2014


the sheer number of hours i have spent googling "vintage coveralls" and "beta kitten programming" in the past week is absurd. i am absurd.

i feel incapable of focus.

things i am able to do in this state:

eat lots of food
listen to lana del rey
compulsively and repeatedly search for very specific things on the internet
check facebook compulsively
run therapy groups

things i am unable to do in this state:

make kale chips
make travel arrangements
do paperwork
pry myself away from a screen

i keep trying to tell myself what to do but i'm just not even paying attention.